Halfway Mark Resulted in Guilt-Free Wine – Day 15
Day 15 of the Whole30 is not just the midway point, but the point in which I should be feeling noticeable differences. For the most part, I am. I should be…
- For the most part, I am. Last night I dreamed I took the gun away from a female suicidal police officer. Why I had that dream I haven’t the foggiest notion, but I didn’t wake up with stress. I woke rested, as if it were not big deal.
… energy is high in the morning, and remains stable throughout the day. (No more 3 PM energy slumps!)
- I definitely have more energy but I will let you know for sure around 4 p.m.
… no longer need to eat every two hours.
- I don’t need to and I like that. But I will snack on an apple or clementines, because I can.
…hunger is appropriate and manageable (no more “hangry”—that awful combination of “hungry” and “angry” when you don’t get your snack).
- Absolutely 100% truth.
….feeling strangely… happy.
- this is the only one where I won’t agree.
For days now, I have been irritable, frustrated and partially angry. I know I have been difficult to be around but I try and swallow the frustration and chalk it up to the breaking of bad habits. Stacy has been a champ, putting up with it all. The origin of this irritability is simple: I feel as though I am depraving myself of something I love and deserve. Wine.
I love wine. I work hard, I deserve a glass or two. I have been diligent in watching EVERYTHING that I eat. I have not strayed. The food I eat is Whole30 Paleo or I don’t eat it. My cravings for sweets and savory foods outside of the Paleo world have dissipated like steam in the air. They exist, but only briefly.
But depriving myself of wine? Well that just irritated the hell out of me.
Wine, to me, is my reward. Not in excess of course because that would be a problem of another sort. But a glass, or two. A reward after an intense and emotional week. A reward for hard work. A reward for doing all I am supposed to do. Therefore I opened a bottle of Pinot Noir without guilt yesterday. I poured a glass and let it sit on my table for half an hour before I took a sip. Over the next nine hours I finished that glass and one and a half others.
Just knowing I can have it, without the limitations I put on myself, relieved this pressure I haven’t felt in ages.
Irritability? Gone. Pressure? Off. Mindset? At ease. Guilt? Big fat zero!
It isn’t because it’s booze. I don’t need to go to a meeting. It’s because I allowed myself something I very much enjoy – in great moderation – during a time in which I felt I deserved it.
This is why I don’t consider it a “slip” of my Whole30. According to the strict rules of The Whole30 I need to start again and today needs to be seen as Day 1.
Well, I don’t. I’m good.
Will I have any wine tonight? No. Not a chance.
Will I have any during the week? I have zero intention in doing so.
How about this weekend when having dinner with friends? No.
How about the following weekend when you are having dinner with another couple? Yeah, probably. I can see myself having a glass or two with dinner. But that’s it.
Moderation. All in moderation.
And if I choose to do so, I will do so without guilt. If I think having a glass will make me feel guilt-ridden about it then I will say “no” and wait until Wednesday November 26.
And that, my friends, has been the short story (believe it or not) of how I have felt for the last week. Eating right every day. Feeling physically better, noticing a difference in my body and the clothes I wear but ridiculously irritable.
How do I feel today? Physically? Great, just as before. Mentally and emotionally, the day after? Oh so much better and now I am ready for the next 15 days of the Whole30 Paleo lifestyle.